Around 10 years ago, I penned something I called “Bastard”. It was about the desperation I felt about the longing for a home I couldn’t seem to find no matter how far I traveled. It resonated with a lot of people. To this day, it’s the second most popular thing I’ve ever written, behind only the one about how I ended up in jail and why. Here we are a decade later. I have sense found my home, but my inherited family makes me feel like I’m still on that isolated island.

I’m a reformed Christian that’s black and conservative with some theonomic leanings. That makes me an oddity, especially when the environment I grew up in comes into play. Frankly put, all the black people that have a similar view that I have (both of them), I met online. So, that’s fine. With blacks and whites alike, there are differences that are not issues of salvation. I am okay with that. What makes me feel like the bastard child now has nothing to do with a difference of opinion, but of apathy. You white evangelicals (I used that broadly as I consider my white brothers and sisters that love me, support me, and challenge my positions), I really don’t feel like you love me.

I take a look at this fiasco surrounding Colin Kaepernick in amazement at how cold you are. He’s bringing attention to injustice persons of color experience and you make it about a flag. Honoring a song and a flag is more important to you than a person made in God’s image just like you. If it’s not, then why do you keep acting as if he’s committing treason against America? Why do you support Trump saying he should be fired or share posts that portray that in a positive light? Why do you not speak out against it if you don’t feel that way.

The answer is simple: you don’t care. You don’t care how many bodies are dropping in those streets. You don’t care about the open tears black mothers have been openly weeping in public for years upon years. You. Don’t. Care. What’s it going to take for you to weep with those that weep (Romans 12)? How many of us have to die on camera before you show a shred of compassion? I wonder if I’ll see it in my lifetime. As of right now, there’s not a lot of white family I’d feel comfortable talking to about this, and that’s not the way it should be.

You Christians who love your pledge so much: this flag is flying over the abortion mill where 60,000,000+ have perished. It’s flying over the courts that sanctioned the suits against the Christians that refused to violate their consciences. It flies over the homes and establishments over the most vile, disgusting, and racist people. Considering the principles this country was intended to be built on, that’s a disgrace to the flag .. but more importantly, this is against the law of the One who gave man his dignity and value.

You keep making this about a worthless piece of cloth that will pass away when there are things happening that dishonor God. Where is your loyalty? Is it with God? Or is it with God AND the flag? This might come as a shock to you, but America dishonors God DAILY. Those things DO NOT go hand in hand.

I’m sure someone is going to falsely accuse me of being a cop hater or something that can’t be proven. I’m okay with that. I’ve seen God open the eyes of people that have been blind to challenges that minorities face and that’s what gives me hope. They have embraced me and shown me love (shout out to YOU Midtown Church!) when they have seen my wounds and the aching of my heart when these things arise.

So I’ll end with asking you this: what am I supposed to say when white liberals say that you’re a racist? I know a good majority are not, but this apathy is impossible to defend. What am I supposed to say when time and time again, I see some secondary issue taking prominience over the life of someone made in God’s image? At the end of the day, I just wish I could feel like my white brothers and sisters gave a damn about any of this pain and that I could freely say that. It seems to me like they’d rather win an argument than show someone that’s in pain some compassion.

Then I turn around and look at the way some of my black brothers and sisters are addressing things and I can’t co-sign it because of methods that don’t honor God. In some sense, I guess I’m still a bastard.



One thought on “Bastard II

  1. I certainly respect the grievances Kaepernick raises. I am frustrated with the methodology. Awareness of an issue should be a prompting to take action to solve the problem. I can’t speak from the topic of ethnic discrimination, but I can speak on the topic of Breast Cancer Awareness.

    I can’t imagine any cognizant human being ignorant of the existence of breast cancer. I do not support/endorse “awareness” programs. They are just raising funds to tell us what we already know and sell merchandise doing it. How are all those hats, bumper stickers, and accessories curing patients and consoling them??? They are not. Money goes to marketing and marketers selling yet another cause for “Awareness.”

    If people really want to solve the problem, they need to take meaningful action to effect a cure. This would be research, trial programs, assisting people who are afflicted. Wearing the word “breast” does not cure cancer.

    I see the terrible stories about black men shooting each other, police shooting people (sometimes justified), people rioting (out of frustration), fatherless black children, black families living in less than ideal situations, the outrageous number of aborted black babies and it grieves me. I grew up in Gary Indiana. It wasn’t this way with my school mates. They had dads who worked hard. They behaved well in school. I never felt they were any different than my family.

    What has changed? 70% of black children today have no dad. Why? The biggest factor of childhood poverty is fatherlessness. A huge factor of incarceration is lack of male mentoring, or dads. What makes women choose to become physically involved with a man who will not make any commitment to support her or a child? Do they think there is nothing better they can aspire to? Do they not realize they are daughters of the One True King, and their bodies are created in the image of God?

    Do the fathers of children feel no concern or compassion for their own flesh and blood? Do they have no joy in welcoming a wife and baby into their lives? Are they unable to see a vision of hope for themselves and a family? SNAP and public assistance are not hope, they are killers of hope unless they are simply a means to help with betterment.

    I want to know how we can turn this ship around. I want to know how I can help young people aspire to be joyous at being made in the image of God. I do my best to confront racist attitudes with truth. I try to be a friend to all people and be an intentional friend of people from different ethnicities.

    Nels does his level best to invest in the lives of young men as a mentor and friend. I try to help when I perceive help is needed. I don’t find that marching in a pussy hat, rioting, or having a tantrum gains anything but division. How can we be kind and reach out to others around us and pray for our country and people. I think that is what makes affective change.

    I could support Colin fully if he would demonstrate by his actions how he is making positive changes happen. I would be glad to join him. He needs to unite with others, not in protesting, in taking a positive message to young people and being an example of working to be all that God has gifted them to be. Honoring God, studying hard in school, abstaining from sexual relationships until after marriage, working hard, and loving families, are the things that change lives. Dr. Ben Carson grew up in a very difficult situation, yet these principles lifted him out of the gang infested ghetto of Detroit. Why can’t others be helped to see a vision of hope for their lives?

    I think that old serpent is crawling through this country trying to divide people and conquer, but I have news for him. I have seen his future and he is going into that eternal lake of fire in the biggest loss of all eternity. He tries to seek, kill, and destroy, but we serve a King mightier than any army he can muster. Brian, you are on the battlefield. What do you see as the best proactive weapon against the enemy (after prayer)? How can others assist you in the fight?

    Brian, I never see you as anything but a brother in Christ. You are family. I pray for you. I enjoy spending time with you. I enjoy our FB chats.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s